lesbian romance

Looking Back

The sky and the stars and the moon, a full moon tonight, and an eclipse. She thought about that, the planets aligning, it was a reminder of the light she felt slipping away from her. Life is short..sometimes we realize that when realize how slowly other parts of it move..sometimes the seed grows, blooms, but its fruit..that is where our completeness comes from…

She felt that black hole forming with those familiar emotions. She felt helpless against its foreboding and carefully checked her thoughts as she stood on the edge, the fall would kill her. Tears and more tears, she sheds them for the heart that moves inside her. She wonders why the choice has to be, move forward, let go, no..it isn’t her choice. Looking back can have an intensity that makes feelings even stronger than they were. Looking back, she can hold onto what she has learned. She clings to what moves her inside and she chooses to follow her heart, a do over, but better because she has woven all her dreams and hopes and the good and the bad into a rope, one she holds onto with everything in her. More love, more gratitude, more lessons, more and more until what she feels overflows and spills into her being. She has learned that sometimes looking back, moves you forward.

Her body is shaking, her lips quiver not because she is shattered, but because she realizes the depths in her, of her love, of her perception, she moves toward it because …it saves her. It pulls her back to hope..every time

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