Sometimes we believe that we are serving a greater purpose, we justify our actions as we choose for ourselves, and then call it fate or destiny. We judge others when we should be our own judge.
In a moment, a blink of an eye, we have the capacity to help or harm and change the course of lives, our own and others. Sometimes we back paddle when we realize exactly what we’ve done, and sometimes we run and the truth becomes a web of carefully chosen words, but what is the reality for you, may not be the reality for others, so what is real when everyone’s is different?
We aren’t able to be someone else’s mind or spirit or body or soul and yet, we assume, we are all genius’ when it comes to everyone else’s lives, even as ours is falling apart or coming together. We don’t control another, but we try to guide at times, manipulate, and at times, we pull away. Whatever the circumstance, we all have the need to have some semblance of control. We create our own fate, we walk our own roads to destiny. We read signs, we listen, or we block out what we don’t want to hear or know. We leave footprints everywhere in hopes that someday our journey leads us to a utopia, when in reality, there are few and far between, moments, that we will experience, that brings us that high.
We remember the solace of utopian moments, the peace, the happiness and we set aside the pain in our hearts. We seek always the feeling of that deep serenity and gather up what is good to move us toward something that is everlasting. For some, it moves them forward, for others, looking back may be where they need to be, whatever your own life lessons are, you alone make the choices. If we have seen heaven, if we have touched love that deeply, if the mix of yesterday or the realities of today, play into where we stand in that moment, it is the longing for more that we seek, when we are searching for answers and that place.
This part of our journey is often a point in our lives where milestones are made. We are stilled and we question ourselves, motives, dreams, wants and needs, and there will come a time that what we honestly feel will come to the surface for air, and when it does, there is such a movement in us, that truthfulness and that hope that rises one more time and whatever we choose to believe, stays with us as we waken from that stall in our lives.
We see what is meaningful and we move through the mire of what has no real meaning, we cling to that breath as if exhaling will leave us lifeless. We are only human, we sometimes forget our existence is imperfect, we seek perfection but nothing is ever really perfect, is it? We have to sit back, see, choose, what is closest to our ideal and go for it. If we allow fear and we allow hurt and we allow others, control, then we lose our “selves”, our way.
We look at the unknown as if it is a horizon, sometimes we look too long. We will never be sate if our satisfaction is based on insatiable appetites. Coming into your own, is a walk that takes you down so many roads, involves you in so many lives, but it is your road and where you choose for it to end is where you feel you belong and matter…where there is meaning…where we finally find..our greater purpose.
We must all work toward that end, but in doing so, we must be careful with the lives we “do” touch..walk with truth, deception eats up the spirit, speak with a gentle tongue, give hope, hold high those who touch you in positive ways, don’t tear down or hurt for the purpose of being “right”, it steals away a part of you when you cause another pain and to forgive yourself when you realize is sometimes the hardest road to walk.
We begin in innocence, in awe of life, expecting only good, maybe it’s time that innocence made a comeback, how different would our lives be if what we did and said came from that place…I wonder..
Ponder for a moment..complete honesty…purest love…sweetest peace…knowing that at any moment, we will get that miracle..setting down all the baggage we choose to drag with us through our lives..how it makes me smile to think of that utopia..what completeness I feel when I dream of that day..maybe this time, it won’t slip away…