Butch Femme · Love · Strength

Hold It Down

fire

Sometimes I look up and the sky seems like it’s falling down
Sometimes I dream that the rain is pouring all around
Sometimes I watch the stars as they dim in the mirror
Sometimes I refuse to see what becomes clearer and clearer
I say words that sound like music but you don’t hear the notes
I cry for more but I’m in a sea and there’s no boats
I watch for that beacon of light but it can’t cut through this fog
I gave all of it away just to lose myself in this bog
Every time  I fly to the moon and back I get so lost
Every time I let myself go, for me, it’s more than it should cost
Every time I believe that it’s close there’s more distance
Every time I refuse, my heart still insists
I used to move you but you’ve gone blind to the vision
I don’t remember my own strength, unbridled passion
I let down my guard but I’ll never get back those senses
I lose myself all over but nothing tears down those fences
Anytime I find you here, I know here is nowhere
Anytime I break, I won’t let you see a falling tear
Anytime I breathe, I remember the times you took it away
Anytime I want to tell you, the words won’t cross my lips, stay
I wake and all these mixed emotions are like chains
I can’t unlock this prison that I’ve made of my remains
I stand with the key in my fingers but I’m so weak
I play along with your game of hide and seek
Once upon a time you were my once upon a time
Once upon a time your heart made mine skip on a dime
Once upon a time I would crash into you crashing into me
Once upon a time in your arms I felt so safe, so free
I can’t dance the dance without feeling the music inside
I feel myself move but you just let me glide,
I slip away just as easily as the stars do in a morning sky,
I feel you pull me like the moon pulls the sea, then you sigh
In time, there will come a time, there’s such a treasure
In time, you will let it wash away for another pleasure
In time, you will say she could have been mine
In time, she’ll be the one who will draw the line
I grew from naive into the crown I wear,
I so easily trusted, knew nothing of fear,
I came this far only to want to go back,
I learned that love can be just a fairytale, fact
Sometimes I close my eyes to that burning sun
Sometimes I lose my heart because I know what it’s done
Sometimes there’s a whisper on my lips from the other side
Sometimes I let you see it all but the part of me that died
I keep believing but my faith has been shaken
I keep looking for that part of me that was taken
I am slow on the draw but my aim is dead on
I know how to hold it down on my own,
                                                 all alone,
                                                              when you’re gone…

hold it down

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