did you count every memory,
did you look at the pictures,
did your hand shake when you saw me,
did you recall the scriptures,
written in the ink on
my body forever,
heaven and earth
bound there together,
were you shedding a tear
for the days I was there,
were you remembering
mine with a blank stare,
were you lost in the love
that laid me down,
from the soles of my feet
to the braided crown,
was it hard for you to see
my heart all that time,
was it on your mind
with that shiny new dime,
was it simple to hurt me
again and again,
knowing I love you
beginning to end,
do you justify every
thing that you do,
do you ever wonder
what I went through,
do you see every promise
that you ever broke,
do you hear all the words
that I never spoke,
I sit here and think back
on the days that have gone,
how you changed my thinking
to I don’t belong,
did it hurt when you thought
you were alone,
did it surprise you that
I picked up the phone,
did it make a difference
in what you see now,
did it take you
back
to our vow,
crossing my legs
on the edge of this cliff,
I recall the moment
of our first kiss,
do you know that I
grew wings when I slipped,
do you understand
that I’ve got this!
do you think that
I’m an open book anymore,
do you think you can read me
like you did before,
let me tell you,
just so you know,
there’s no promise here
in the things that I show,
there won’t be an end
but surely I’ll go,
I can’t pretend that
I never saw this show,
the casting calls
searching for that beau,
I’ve grown so much
since I couldn’t believe,
I’m no longer innocent
or so naive,
would you change it
if you had felt my pain,
would you pull out the knife
just to cut me again,
would you turn on the love
and leave the lust,
would you put down the blade
or just let it rust,
closing my eyes
I see nothing but dust,
you’ve broken my heart,
you’ve torn up my trust,
does it rain down
on your head,
does it make you
feel less,
than what I have felt
when I gave my best,
does it shatter the concept
that I’ll stand by your side,
I want you to know that
I can’t let this all slide,
but you’ll still see that
love in my eyes,
remember the smoke
in all of my sighs,
will it ever make any sense,
the fog is so thick
and the forest so dense,
will I ever find my way out,
will the light ever shine
on what I now doubt,
will anything ever
seem clear again,
will I ever find
who I was then,
there’s a breeze blowing
through my hair,
my wings are spread
to find my way there,
maybe someday
I’ll cross over that line,
but for now I lean into
the wind that I find,
maybe someday
that old coal will shine,
and I’ll wake in the morning
with it all falling behind…
