With everything going on in my life, I really feel as though I’m no longer standing on the edge of a cliff, but holding onto it with everything in me. I know how to deal, been doing it all my life, but I’m really just want to let go. I am at a place that feels like I’m intimidated at every point. It’s hard for me to even see what is real and what isn’t…Okay, no, I guess I do know what’s real, it’s just a mystery how that reality came about, how I can’t trust my own heart to distinguish between truth and lies. I get so angry with myself when I fall for lines of bullshit. I don’t give my time to many, it just isn’t me to be a social butterfly; but lately I’ve found reason to be more inclined to speak than to stay quiet, the result being that I’m actually letting myself become more open and less resilient to shutting out people. I just have to figure out this letting go thing. I’ve read the quote…you’ll find your wings..but I don’t trust that I even believe that. I want to freefall..I want to.