I just wanted to update, so no one has thought I’ve fallen off the face.. 🙂 I’ve been recovering from a heart attack and heart surgery opening all the main arteries in my heart with stints. I am an anomoly my doctor told me, by the grace, I have an extra artery in my heart…it is the only thing that saved me. I had two of main arteries 100 % closed and the other was 90% closed…wow…and the extra artery was completely open and is what kept my heart fed…wow…yes, I was floored. I have been battling uncontrolled diabetes for a few years. The doses of insulin go higher and higher but seem to have little effect on my blood sugar levels. I run in the 2 and 5 hundreds no matter what they do to try to stop it. Anyway, I’m ok and still with the body I came in…I guess I just live until I die…for some reason I was at peace with that…I guess I’ve lived dying long enough, time to do it right. I know I’ve allowed stress in and it also was a contributing factor. I suggest this…only because it is what I’ve learned from this experience…it’s to let it be, problems solve themselves, and to let go of what isn’t in our control. Seeing someone going through losses or disappointments isn’t the same as realizing what you lose or who you disappoint by not living…what have you lost today to thoughts that are only thoughts, to a past you can’t revive…what…do you know? I feel like I’ve lost too much. You trade a little piece of life, your life, which is meant to be lived..you can stay in your head, lose contact with those who love you, forget that there is an actual physical world beyond that place…but only when you can feel the outside of you along with the inside can you break…it’s an amazing feeling to have this precious gift with its precious moments. I had become numb..and way more numb than I’d wanted to believe, nothing like cracking your heart open…literally…and feeling…reconnecting with the world is precious..just love for love’s sake..